We were all once friends

Once upon a time, not too long ago, we were all friends.

Sure, we all had our differences, but despite that, we remained friends.

We laughed together. Shared good times. Had annual sleepovers. And even dreamed of growing old together.

But then we found our own kinds in the world.

Age changed us all. Or time has changed us all. We grew up, and unfortunately eventually grew apart. But there's always that one photograph from the past that reminds us that once upon a time .. we were all once friends.

What time is it?

Another Sunday .. started at 5pm.

Wow, how was I able to sleep through another day?--And a beautiful one at that!

I need to start fixing up my sleeping habits; it's like my body has already decided that it is summer vacation, and that it's okay for me to sleep late and wake up even later. Sigh.

Anyway, it's crunch time from this point on. 5 more final papers to write, quizzes sprinkled here and there, and one more exam left for my junior year. Damn, even with all that work left to do, time seems to be going by so fast. And I'm still feeling a bit groggy.

While eating a late lunch/early dinner with my boyfriend and a friend, I realized that now, more than ever, I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. Cuz come this time next year, I will no longer need to worry about school [well, besides grad school]. Instead, I need to worry about another possible internship, or a job. And being all grown up. Scary.

Time needs to slow down, damnit.

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

I'm an anti-social.

I hate meeting new people; that only means more people to care about, more people to be careful around, and more limitations as to how I should act and live.

The more I'm involved with different people, the more frustrated I get. Biggie once said, "Mo' money, mo' problems," but I believe the big man only got half of the equation right. I believe that mo' people means mo' problems. Werd.

It's all in the matter of how much trust, hope, and faith you put into humanity. I used to foolishly tend to think that everyone is a potential good friend, but was eventually left disappointed and glum when the opposite occured. I'd like to say that I've learned not to expect much from a relationship, but sadly I cannot ever say so.

Also, having lesser friends means spending less for birthdays and other various holidays. But I jest.

As people, humans tend to group off socially in what are common interests and goals for each member. But there's bound to be disagreement.

I hate feeling alone. I have a handful of friends, and maybe 3 close friends. Yet, why do I feel alone most of the times? Once my mind wanders adrift from the daily grind of school, I realize that in the end, I am my best friend. No one else can understand Julia's mind better than herself.

Yet, it's frustrating when no one else can see your viewpoint.

Pollen and Salt

It gets frustrating at times when there is no sense of communication in a relationship. Especially if there is a lack of communication. When surrounded by a group of people, a relationship can flourish and perhaps even grow. But a lack of the latter can result in the profound realization that perhaps this is a superficial relationship. The relationships you have outside of what might be a solid one could be like water for growth. And without growth, things become stagnant and just begin the slow process of rusting away.

Time spent together seems more like a ritual. And rituals eventually lose their significance and momentum. People tend to forget the importance of something in their lives by taking things for granted. Something or someone who has always been there for you suddenly becomes just a daily norm, rather than that special someone whose efforts and presence you once noticed. The feeling of being treated special and different loses its meaning altogether.

Good Grief I

I quit my internship today.

Do I have any regrets? No.
Will I miss getting paid? Mayhaps.

The internship seemed more like a job; I didn't really get much out of it. I basically went in when I could, made some layouts for ads and edited blurbs about the books we were promoting. Very mindless work, actually. And yes, I was getting paid for that. So why did I quit? Frankly, the internship did teach me one thing: I would never want to do that for a living. Gawd. I need a job that would be more exciting than sitting in front of a computer, just using blocks and cover images to make ads for catalogues and book reviews. KMS. To the extreme.
Plus, I was feeling bad for missing out on so many work days. Granted that I only worked 7 hours a week, but I just had no passion or feel for it. Thus making me sluggish. And bitter. But now it's all over, and hopefully someone who'll actually like the work will get the internship spot I left.

In other news, with the internship out of the way, I actually had time to go to the academic advising center to see how my pathway to graduating is going. And to my freaking surprise, turns out that I still have two more requirements to fill. Two of which I thought were completed. WTF?! So now I'm stuck taking a 'Natural Science' and a 'Analytic/Quantitative' bs class during my senior year of college. There goes The Bible as Literature class that I've been itching to take. But hopefully they'll offer that next spring. Keep your fingers crossed.

Another thing I need to get out of the way is getting my Wachovia account settled. For the bazillionth time. Seriously, this is like the third debit card I've gotten from them, and my freaking pin number still doesn't work. Those bastards. Why am I still doing business with these bastards? Gosh, I baffle myself.

When will this madness all end? And I'm so tired. And I still have to write my paper for my Medieval Literature in Dissent class. Good grief.

You're beautiful, it's true.

So instead of working on my Medieval Literature in Dissent paper, I've been sorting through photographs that I've taken within the past year or so. I came up with a "Pictures I Like" folder on my desktop, and I'm left with a semi-satisfied feeling of accomplishment. I smell a mini-project coming up in the near future. Perhaps a photo collage of some sorts, or even a mass order of photo prints? But until then, I guess I'll highlight a favorite photo and just write about it.

This particular photograph was taken in the summer of 2005, while scouting a local picnicking area as a potential barbeque spot. I'm not exactly too sure what the park's actual name is, but it is located under the George Washington Bridge, somewhere near Fort Lee/Edgewater, New Jersey. I actually brought in this photo to share in my Photography and Visual Media Literary Theory class, and some kid mentioned that technically I wasn't allowed to take a picture of the GWB, with terrorists and the war going on since the whole 9/11 tragedy.
I like to think that this particular photo is a memory of when I was unknowingly rebellious, breaking a government law and all. But the thing that moved me to taking this photo was the fact that the clouds looked like pieces of cotton, almost as if someone had purposely placed them in the sky.

Well, either that or I'm crazy.

Nonetheless, this is one of my favorite photos, taken by yours truly.

Lazy Sunday

I slept through the entire day. The only time I was awake for more than 30 minutes was to eat breakfast (and that was at 1:30pm!), and I ended up surfing for a bit before falling back into slumber. There goes my day of productivity.

As April nears its eventual ending, I find myself slowly becoming aware of the inevitable change. Junior year will come to a close, my sister will [finally] graduate from Rutgers, and the family is [finally] moving to a new house. Hm. I guess this summer will be all about learning to finally move on.

I'm looking forward to this summer.
I refuse to expect great things; that will only make the first days of summer lose its luster. Instead, I anticipate not having to deal with school. Papers, especially. That is, unless, I finally decide if I'm going to go for that English Honors program. If so, this summer might just have to include papers -_-;

As for the search for internships .. no word yet. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Sigh. If anything, I need to prepare myself for getting a decent summer job. Beggars can't be choosers, though.

And here I am, with many final term papers ahead of me, just musing ahead towards the summer. I need to stop daydreaming, and learn to keep it real.

Cheers.